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Writer's pictureTim Leach
Sep 235 min read

Co-Parenting with an Ex: Maintaining Peace for the Kids’ Sake



Ah, co-parenting with an ex—what a delightful scenario, right?


You get to navigate the emotional landmines of a past relationship, but now with the added bonus of keeping it cool for the kids. If this sounds like trying to juggle while riding a unicycle across a tightrope in a hurricane, you're not far off. But take a deep breath. It is possible to maintain peace, even when you’d rather be arguing about the "right" way to load the dishwasher.


So how do you approach co-parenting with grace, ensuring the focus remains on your kids and not the emotional baggage from the relationship that didn’t exactly pan out? Stick around, because I’m about to break it down for you.


The Shift from Partner to Co-Parent


Let’s be real—your relationship with your ex didn’t work out for a reason. Maybe it was those pesky “irreconcilable differences” or the fact that you couldn’t agree on anything from finances to what counts as a “romantic gesture.” Either way, the romantic part is over. Now, you’re business partners in the hardest, most emotionally charged business there is - raising children.


The key to success? Redefine your relationship. You’re no longer partners in love; you’re partners in parenting. That means letting go of the little jabs and focusing on the mission at hand: raising emotionally healthy, well-adjusted human beings.


Tip: When discussing anything with your ex, imagine you’re in a board meeting. You wouldn’t tell your co-worker, “Remember that time you ruined Christmas?”—so don’t do it to your ex either. Keep it professional, and stick to the topic at hand: the kids.


Communication - It’s Not About You


In a perfect world, your ex would magically understand exactly what the kids need, how to handle every parenting situation, and would communicate like a therapist with a PhD in peacekeeping. Unfortunately, we don’t live in that world. Co-parenting requires open, clear communication, and guess what? It’s not about you or your feelings.


When emotions run high (which they inevitably will), remember: the focus is on the kids. The tone of your voice, the words you use, and even the timing of your texts can influence how effectively you communicate. Keep it direct, keep it kind, and, for the love of all things peaceful, keep it kid-centered.


Tip: If texting makes things tense, consider using a co-parenting app like OurFamilyWizard. It keeps the communication structured and less emotionally charged.


Set Boundaries Like a Pro


Boundaries are your best friend in co-parenting. You don’t want to become that over-sharing, over-involved ex who lingers after every pick-up and drop-off. Just as in your romantic life, healthy boundaries in co-parenting make everything smoother. They also protect your sanity.


Determine what’s acceptable and what’s not, then stick to it. Maybe that means no spontaneous visits or limiting communication to kid-related matters only. Maybe it’s as simple as agreeing not to call each other after 8 p.m. unless it’s an emergency. Whatever your boundaries are, establish them early, and hold them firm.


Tip: Boundaries aren’t just for your ex. They’re for you, too. Don’t answer texts at midnight or allow yourself to be pulled into unnecessary drama. Stay focused on the task: raising your kids.


Put the Kids First (Yes, Always)


I know, I know, you’ve heard it a thousand times: “It’s about the kids.” But how many times have you seen people say that and then immediately make it about themselves? You have to genuinely put the kids first—especially when it’s hard.


That means no bad-mouthing the other parent, no using the kids as messengers, and certainly no manipulation or guilt-tripping. Children need to feel safe, loved, and secure by both parents, even when those parents are no longer together.


Tip: Consider the long-term effects of your actions. You may win a petty argument today, but how will it affect your child’s relationship with you or their other parent in the future? Big picture, people!


The Art of Compromise


You’re not going to agree on everything, and that’s okay. What matters is how you handle those disagreements. Pick your battles wisely. Not everything is worth a fight, and sometimes, giving a little doesn’t mean you’re “losing”—it means you’re choosing peace over chaos.


Maybe your ex wants the kids to stay with them an extra day because of a family event. You don’t like the idea, but it’s not going to hurt anyone. Instead of standing your ground just to make a point, think about how this decision benefits your child. Sometimes, the best way to “win” is to lose gracefully.


Tip: If you’re really stuck on an issue, try mediation. A neutral third party can help you both find a solution without turning the situation into a courtroom drama.


Dealing with New Relationships


So your ex has moved on, and now there’s a new person in your child’s life. Whether you like it or not, it’s happening. How you respond will set the tone for how smoothly this transition goes for everyone.


No one says you have to be besties with your ex’s new partner, but showing respect and keeping things civil will make a world of difference for your kids. This person is now part of their life, and it’s in everyone’s best interest to keep things as harmonious as possible.


Tip: Make it about the kids (again). As long as they’re happy and safe, that’s what matters. Your opinion about the new relationship is irrelevant. Smile, wave, and keep it moving.


Self-Care—Because You Can’t Pour from an Empty Cup


This isn’t just about your kids—it’s about you, too. Co-parenting can be emotionally exhausting, and if you’re not taking care of yourself, you’re going to burn out fast. Make time for your own mental and physical health. Whether that’s exercising, meditating, or (ahem) attending a Mindful Baker workshop where you can de-stress by kneading dough and practicing mindfulness techniques - find what works for you.


Remember, the better you feel, the better parent you’ll be. It’s not selfish to take care of yourself; it’s essential.


The Mindful Baker’s Sizzle and Slice Workshops: A Game-Changer


Now, let’s talk about something that’s a game-changer for both parents and kids alike: the Mindful Baker’s Sizzle and Slice Workshops. You might be wondering what pizza has to do with mindfulness or co-parenting, but hear me out. When you’re kneading dough, focusing on the process, and enjoying the creative act of making something from scratch, you’re practicing mindfulness.


Our workshops are designed not just to teach you how to make the perfect pizza, but to help you—and your kids—connect with the present moment. It’s a fun, interactive way to introduce mindfulness into your family’s routine, all while creating memories and life skills that stick.


And if you’re co-parenting, this is the perfect activity to do together as a family. It’s neutral ground where you can focus on your kids, not your differences. Plus, who doesn’t love pizza?


Final Thoughts: You’ve Got This


Co-parenting with an ex isn’t easy, but it doesn’t have to be a nightmare. With clear communication, firm boundaries, and a focus on the well-being of your kids, you can make this work. It’s not about being perfect parents; it’s about being the best parents you can be, even in less-than-perfect circumstances.


Remember, every day is an opportunity to show your kids what resilience, respect, and love look like. So take a deep breath, put on your co-parenting hat, and know that you’ve got this.


Oh, and don’t forget to book a Sizzle and Slice workshop—it’s the perfect way to practice mindfulness, have fun, and bond with your kids in the most delicious way possible.



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